I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize