R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
