Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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