is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Randomize
