somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
