I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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