If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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