Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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