oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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