and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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