Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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