guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
