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I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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