that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
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I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
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My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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