Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
