Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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