The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
