Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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