I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
