Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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