One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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