Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
