After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
found the other keg... it's in the tree
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
