You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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