I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
