I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
