atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
