I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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