She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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