we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
