you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
