That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
