I skipped work to stalk him.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
