people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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