they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
