He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
