I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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