just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
