Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
