dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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