Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
