I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
