U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
