Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
