i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
