Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
