I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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