Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
