my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
