i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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