My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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