Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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