He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
