if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
