The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
