You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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