Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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