Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
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We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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