so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
