90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
pop tarts are not kleenex
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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