I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
