Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize