dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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