so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
