I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize