let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
