Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
from now on my penis is your penis
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
