I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
