i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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